Devotional #8: To Listen and Follow
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” – Luke 9:23 NIV
Have you ever felt prompted or felt an irresistible urge to do something that you know is coming from the Lord? If you are like me, you have felt this many times during the course of your life. If you are like me, you have also followed this prompting—at times—and ignored it—at other times. This prompting of the Holy Spirit speaks to us, usually because God wants to do something meaningful. Learning to discern the prompting of the Holy Spirit and then obeying God as a disciple in our Christian faith is as challenging as it is critical. I can say that mastering this discipline has been one of my greatest struggles in my faith. When I was in high school and again in college, I had opportunities to share my faith with close friends of mine. These were perfect opportunities. It was as if God had placed the baseball on a T-ball post in front of a Major Leaguer. All he or she would have to do is swing and hit the homer. But all too often, I’ve refused to take my turn at bat. Questions would race through my mind as possible justifications for ignoring the Holy Spirit: What if I strike out? Will I be ridiculed or embarrassed? Am I really hearing from God? Will I do more damage than good? All too often I have ignored that prompting, and have regretted it deeply. Other times, I have obeyed and obedience has never been a mistake. These are stories for another time, because something amazing happened during my cancer journey. This is one of those moments when you know if you ever start to doubt God you can have your faith restored by remembering.
One day a few years ago, I did not feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit, but I witnessed someone who did—and I was blessed. Mom and I stopped for lunch at a grocery store on the way home from a radiation appointment. Mom had noticed a man in a three-piece suit who had been, in her observation, “lingering” near me, as if he wanted to say something. I was oblivious to it, perhaps because I’ve been used to people staring or wanting to talk to me about the wires flowing off my head (I wear a device called Optune which helps obliterate cancer cells). I’ve become used to being stared at and even stopped by curious people. We ignored it and proceeded to our car to drive home. As mom and I drove away she saw this man, Tony (not his real name), and said she believed he had a message for me. I didn’t think much of it, but decided to smile at him, as I often do to people who look at wired-headed-me to make them feel more comfortable. Then, I saw THAT look. I know it well. The look of self-doubt combined with reluctant compliance. It’s a look that says: “I don’t want to do this, but I can’t resist anymore…Okay, here it goes...” As Tony approached the car, I speculated he was a doctor, or related to a cancer patient, and that he was curious about my Optune device.
Mom rolled down the window. Tony asked if he could pray for us. Of course, I always welcome prayer and consented, but then he said he had a “word” for me. At this point, I had my doubts about this strange man, because, like many cancer fighters, I’ve been burned at times by the “words” of others. I have mentioned examples of these times in my past few devotionals. It is critical, however, to not become jaded. I’ve received many other blessings with kind, affirming and legitimate words for me, and those should not be discounted.
Still, my trust in others, especially strangers, has been bruised. I agreed to hear what Tony had to say, knowing in the back of my head, I might have to chalk it up another misguided attempt to be helpful. Then he said it plainly and directly: “You shall not die, but live, and declare the glorious works of the Lord.” Stunned, I stared at my mom and she back at me, with our jaws open. You see, Tony’s “word” was the first scripture (Psalm 118:17) on healing I had received from a close family friend after my diagnosis. Ever since, this same scripture would come to me in various ways and from time to time, always when I needed to be reminded of God’s strength and provision. And, I needed to be reminded again that day.
Tony’s prayer continued with confirmation after confirmation of my healing and of promises God had made to me. I knew undoubtedly that God was speaking to me through this man. That day, I needed to be reminded of God’s power and promises to me. Even though we received great news of another clear MRI the day before, and were given a clear end date for chemo), Satan was still planting those questions of fear and doubt: Is ending chemo in a year really the right thing to do? What if the tumor recurs? How will my family survive if I don’t make it? Will my nieces and nephews be permanently scarred?
I won’t lay out stats, but if you Google glioblastoma grade 4, you can read the statistics for yourself and understand why I would be nervous. But, God reminded me that when we are weak, He is strong. (See 2 Corinthians 12:9-11). And, that His word is sharper than a two-edged sword (See Hebrews 4:12), that we can take up the shield of Faith to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. (See Ephesians 6:16). Even then when we are weak and faithless, He remains faithful. (See 2 Timothy 2:13).
We learned Tony is a gentleman from Kansas, who was in town for a training with State Farm Insurance. He simply felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit and chose to follow it rather than ignore what God was asking him to do that day. It took courage. I’m sure Tony questioned what he was feeling and feared how two women might react to this boldness from a stranger. Perhaps he even attempted to excuse his way out of it somehow—that would have been easy to let us drive away; but I’m so grateful he stopped our car. God clearly orchestrated our timing and location, having us both at the grocery store at the exact same time, and parked close enough to one another that Tony could stop our car.
So where does that leave us? I don’t have all the answers. I certainly don’t know why God chooses to heal some and not others. My family knows this more directly than most. We lost my first nephew to a heart condition when he was just a baby. I had never prayed so hard as I did for my little Elijah. I’ve resolved that I may never understand this until I am in heaven with him, and I imagine that it won’t matter as much then as it seems to now. But, I have seen the power of obedience to God. I encourage you to simply pray for the opportunities, and the courage, to share Christ to others. When you feel that prompting to share or pray for another, remember that Christ went to cross for him/her; Can we not muster the courage to obey God’s prompting and speak to him/her? Knowing that even if we have failed to do this in the past, God has abounding opportunities in the present and future. We only need listen and follow Him. I’m so glad Tony did.
For Additional Study & Discussion
1. Think of a time you believe the Holy Spirit prompted you to do something. What thoughts ran through your head? What action did you take or not take? Do you have any regrets?
2. Read the story of Peter denying Jesus (Luke 22: 54-62). And read the story of Jesus restoring Peter (John 21:15-17). What can we learn about God’s desire to forgive us, even when we fail Him?
3. What can give you the courage to obey God in the future when the Holy Spirit prompts you to do something?